1
00:00:05,471 --> 00:00:06,772
I'm getting married.
2
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:07,874
To who?
3
00:00:07,942 --> 00:00:09,661
Miss Ava st. Clair.
4
00:00:09,729 --> 00:00:11,982
Oh, my gosh. Carrie, you remember
that apartment in the city
5
00:00:12,050 --> 00:00:13,551
We signed up for years ago? Uh-Huh
6
00:00:13,619 --> 00:00:14,803
It's available now.
7
00:00:14,871 --> 00:00:15,923
I don't wanna move
to the city.
8
00:00:15,990 --> 00:00:16,925
What are you talkin' about?
9
00:00:16,992 --> 00:00:18,494
You said
you were ok with this,
10
00:00:18,562 --> 00:00:20,031
That my dream
was your dream.
11
00:00:20,098 --> 00:00:21,851
What are you doin'? What,
are you-You leavin' me?
12
00:00:21,918 --> 00:00:23,152
No, doug.
13
00:00:23,220 --> 00:00:25,374
I'm going to our apartment
in the city,
14
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:27,111
And i hope
you join me.
15
00:00:27,178 --> 00:00:28,730
Hi. Thanks for
painting the bedroom,
16
00:00:28,797 --> 00:00:31,519
And that mural in the
bathroom is amazing.
17
00:00:31,587 --> 00:00:32,804
You-You like it?
18
00:00:32,872 --> 00:00:36,211
I love it. You made
me look really busty.
19
00:00:36,279 --> 00:00:37,563
I may be moving out.
20
00:00:37,631 --> 00:00:39,867
Don't be sorry. Roommates are
a dime a dozen. Heh.
21
00:00:39,935 --> 00:00:42,055
And so, let me just
get this straight.
22
00:00:42,123 --> 00:00:44,159
You're gonna get rid
of the apartment,
23
00:00:44,227 --> 00:00:46,647
I'm gonna get a new job,
24
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,417
And we're both
gonna get a baby.
25
00:00:48,485 --> 00:00:50,620
That's the deal
that's on the table.
26
00:00:50,688 --> 00:00:51,857
I'm in.
27
00:00:51,924 --> 00:00:53,226
Me, too.
28
00:00:53,294 --> 00:00:54,445
Dinelli office furnishings.
29
00:00:54,512 --> 00:00:56,916
First in lumbar.
Doug heffernan speaking.
30
00:00:56,984 --> 00:01:01,491
Have you checked
your apartment in manhattan?
31
00:01:47,395 --> 00:01:50,682
Bill! Man, i don't know
what you want from me, man.
32
00:01:50,751 --> 00:01:52,520
I can't
help you out here.
33
00:01:52,587 --> 00:01:54,724
Look, you know what?
Carrie just walked in.
34
00:01:54,791 --> 00:01:56,260
I will ask her. Jeez.
35
00:01:56,328 --> 00:01:57,813
Carrie,
it's my friend bill.
36
00:01:57,881 --> 00:01:59,149
He's-He's movin'
into Manhattan.
37
00:01:59,216 --> 00:02:00,485
Bill who?
Hmm?
38
00:02:00,552 --> 00:02:01,754
Bill who?
39
00:02:03,007 --> 00:02:05,427
Uh, Bill Krispies.
40
00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:12,474
You got rid of that
apartment, like, 3 weeks ago.
41
00:02:12,542 --> 00:02:14,761
There's definitely somebody
in there by now, right?
42
00:02:14,829 --> 00:02:16,848
Uh, yeah, there's probably
somebody in there.
43
00:02:16,916 --> 00:02:19,454
I told him that.
Yeah, bill, no go.
44
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:24,530
Ok, listen, do not be late
for my father's wedding, ok?
45
00:02:24,597 --> 00:02:26,551
I need you and deacon
on the road by noon.
46
00:02:26,618 --> 00:02:29,840
I have to go there now 'cause i got
a lot to do, ok? I love you. Bye.
47
00:02:32,646 --> 00:02:35,349
A brand-New
exercise bike.
48
00:02:35,417 --> 00:02:36,987
I'll bid, uh, 750.
49
00:02:37,055 --> 00:02:38,755
Doug.
50
00:02:38,823 --> 00:02:40,143
It's open!
51
00:02:40,210 --> 00:02:42,029
It's locked.
52
00:02:42,096 --> 00:02:43,581
Sorry.
53
00:02:43,650 --> 00:02:45,018
It's locked!
54
00:02:45,086 --> 00:02:47,540
Just open the damn door,
will you?
55
00:02:47,607 --> 00:02:49,042
Oh, gosh, all right.
56
00:02:49,109 --> 00:02:51,213
I'm comin',
you princess.
57
00:02:53,986 --> 00:02:54,869
There you go.
58
00:02:54,937 --> 00:02:56,590
I've been honking out there-
59
00:02:56,658 --> 00:02:57,925
Where are your pants?
60
00:02:57,993 --> 00:02:59,929
Oh, wouldn't you
love to know?
61
00:02:59,997 --> 00:03:02,050
Why are you sittin'
around here, drinkin'?
62
00:03:02,118 --> 00:03:03,969
We gotta get
to the wedding, man.
63
00:03:04,037 --> 00:03:05,138
Mm-Mmm. I ain't goin'.
64
00:03:05,207 --> 00:03:06,541
Hey, come on, man!
65
00:03:06,610 --> 00:03:09,780
The rice-A-Roni is much
cheaper than the turtle wax!
66
00:03:09,848 --> 00:03:11,451
What the hell
is goin' on here?
67
00:03:11,518 --> 00:03:13,689
Oh, well, let's see.
I'm divorcin' carrie,
68
00:03:13,757 --> 00:03:15,826
And ensign curtis here
just cost himself
69
00:03:15,894 --> 00:03:17,912
A trip to
the showcase showdown.
70
00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:22,087
Get a divorce? I thought
you guys were good now.
71
00:03:22,155 --> 00:03:23,924
Yeah, well, turns out
she secretly kept
72
00:03:23,992 --> 00:03:25,327
Her little apartment
in the city.
73
00:03:25,395 --> 00:03:26,996
"Oh, doug,
i love ya.
74
00:03:27,064 --> 00:03:29,968
Let's adopt
chinese babies together."
75
00:03:30,036 --> 00:03:32,223
It was all a pack of lies...
76
00:03:32,291 --> 00:03:34,393
Or a-A web of lies.
77
00:03:34,461 --> 00:03:37,667
Aw, some groupin' of lies.
78
00:03:37,735 --> 00:03:41,123
So she kept the place,
huh. Did she say why?
79
00:03:41,191 --> 00:03:43,777
She doesn't even know i
know, man, but it's obvious.
80
00:03:43,845 --> 00:03:46,967
It's her ticket
out of f-Fattytown.
81
00:03:47,035 --> 00:03:48,219
But you know what?
82
00:03:48,287 --> 00:03:49,505
I'm beatin' her
to the punch.
83
00:03:49,573 --> 00:03:52,410
You know what? All i know
is i'm supposed to get you,
84
00:03:52,478 --> 00:03:55,433
A cake, and a rabbi to poughkeepsie
by 4:00, so put your pants on.
85
00:03:55,501 --> 00:03:57,186
No. I ain't goin', buddy.
86
00:03:57,254 --> 00:03:58,138
You're doin' it.
Man, don't make me
87
00:03:58,205 --> 00:03:59,774
Carry you out of here
in your drawers, man.
88
00:03:59,842 --> 00:04:02,596
Don't make me carry you
out of here in my drawers.
89
00:04:02,664 --> 00:04:03,981
All right, you know what? Just come on.
90
00:04:04,049 --> 00:04:04,934
Let's go.
No way.
91
00:04:05,001 --> 00:04:06,219
It's not happenin', man.
92
00:04:07,624 --> 00:04:08,791
Stop it!
93
00:04:08,859 --> 00:04:10,494
All right.
94
00:04:10,562 --> 00:04:12,064
Fine.
95
00:04:12,132 --> 00:04:13,433
Not goin' anywhere.
96
00:04:13,501 --> 00:04:15,103
You're goin'.
No, i'm not.
97
00:04:18,010 --> 00:04:19,828
Oh, god. Unh!
I- I think i-
98
00:04:19,895 --> 00:04:21,798
I think i accidentally
touched something.
99
00:04:21,866 --> 00:04:24,603
Accidentally or
been plannin' for years?
100
00:04:24,671 --> 00:04:27,092
Look, just put
your pants on
101
00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:28,829
And get in the car.
102
00:04:28,897 --> 00:04:31,200
Fine! You know what?
I will get in the car.
103
00:04:31,268 --> 00:04:34,506
You mark my words. You will never
see pants on this body again.
104
00:04:37,529 --> 00:04:40,266
Now, dad, we have a lot
of family coming today
105
00:04:40,334 --> 00:04:42,353
That you haven't
seen in a while,
106
00:04:42,421 --> 00:04:45,058
So i want you to remember
no slapping anybody.
107
00:04:45,126 --> 00:04:46,745
But bernice is coming.
108
00:04:46,813 --> 00:04:49,066
Ok, dad, last time,
she knocked you out, ok?
109
00:04:49,134 --> 00:04:51,971
Leave it alone.
Leave it alone.
110
00:04:52,039 --> 00:04:54,592
I'm gonna go see if ava
needs anything, ok?
111
00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:55,794
All right.
All right.
112
00:05:00,972 --> 00:05:03,376
Oh, are you ok, mom?
113
00:05:03,444 --> 00:05:06,249
I know this has gotta be rough
seeing arthur get married.
114
00:05:06,317 --> 00:05:08,302
I'm very happy for him.
115
00:05:08,369 --> 00:05:10,106
Why would you say that?
116
00:05:10,174 --> 00:05:13,779
Well, you've been sobbing
and retching a lot lately.
117
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:16,466
No more than usual.
118
00:05:16,535 --> 00:05:17,803
Greetings.
119
00:05:17,871 --> 00:05:18,671
Oh, hey, arthur.
120
00:05:18,789 --> 00:05:21,092
Um, here are those
place cards you wanted.
121
00:05:21,161 --> 00:05:24,032
Uh, the venetian-Style calligraphy
you wanted was really intricate.
122
00:05:24,099 --> 00:05:25,600
I was up all night.
123
00:05:25,668 --> 00:05:26,420
Thank you.
124
00:05:26,487 --> 00:05:29,475
I hope this isn't
in lieu of a gift.
125
00:05:33,885 --> 00:05:36,822
Congratulations on
your nuptials, arthur.
126
00:05:36,890 --> 00:05:39,176
Thank you, veronica.
127
00:05:39,244 --> 00:05:40,578
Ava st. Clair.
128
00:05:40,646 --> 00:05:42,015
Pish-Posh.
129
00:05:42,083 --> 00:05:44,203
That she is.
130
00:05:44,270 --> 00:05:48,177
I guess i always knew you'd
wind up with someone like that.
131
00:05:48,244 --> 00:05:49,881
You deserve it.
132
00:05:49,948 --> 00:05:53,252
You're a good loser,
veronica,
133
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:56,225
The best loser
i've ever known.
134
00:05:56,292 --> 00:05:58,095
Thank you, arthur.
135
00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:02,402
Yo! Yo, rabbi!
136
00:06:02,470 --> 00:06:03,873
Over here.
137
00:06:05,643 --> 00:06:07,813
I hope you don't mind
sittin' in the back.
138
00:06:07,881 --> 00:06:09,550
I, uh, got the cake
up here.
139
00:06:09,618 --> 00:06:11,203
Ah, no, no.
It's-It's fine.
140
00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:12,439
It's just, um...
141
00:06:12,507 --> 00:06:16,078
Do you know there's
a man with no pants back here?
142
00:06:16,146 --> 00:06:18,183
Oh, yeah. That's-
That's the best man.
143
00:06:18,250 --> 00:06:19,986
He's sleepin' off
a couple six-Packs.
144
00:06:20,054 --> 00:06:23,593
Do me a favor and, uh,
give him a smack, will ya?
145
00:06:23,661 --> 00:06:24,828
Oh, ok.
146
00:06:28,820 --> 00:06:31,291
Y- You gotta
really drill him.
147
00:06:31,359 --> 00:06:34,629
I'm not comfortable
drilling anyone on shabbos.
148
00:06:34,697 --> 00:06:35,731
All right.
149
00:06:35,799 --> 00:06:37,502
I'll take care
of it.
150
00:06:37,570 --> 00:06:39,740
Hang on.
151
00:06:39,808 --> 00:06:43,914
Aw, deac, gotta tell ya, gettin'
a little tired of that move.
152
00:06:48,724 --> 00:06:50,359
There it is.
153
00:06:50,427 --> 00:06:51,929
Ok.
Ok.
154
00:06:51,997 --> 00:06:53,732
Oh, you look beautiful.
155
00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:54,935
Really?
156
00:06:55,002 --> 00:06:57,589
I'm so nervous.
157
00:06:57,656 --> 00:06:58,541
Oh, you're gonna be fine.
158
00:06:58,609 --> 00:07:00,812
At my last wedding,
i passed out
159
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,516
Right into
a chopped-Liver swan.
160
00:07:02,583 --> 00:07:07,308
But gerald was
so understanding.
161
00:07:07,375 --> 00:07:10,414
Oh, god rest his soul.
162
00:07:10,482 --> 00:07:12,517
That was
your last husband?
163
00:07:12,585 --> 00:07:14,321
Yeah. Well...
164
00:07:14,388 --> 00:07:16,325
After the first jerk
i married,
165
00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:19,765
I decided from now on,
only gay men.
166
00:07:19,833 --> 00:07:22,469
15-Minute warning.
167
00:07:22,537 --> 00:07:23,505
Oh.
168
00:07:23,572 --> 00:07:25,709
Ava, darling,
that dress is delicious.
169
00:07:25,777 --> 00:07:28,480
You're a vision in chiffon.
170
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,353
I can't wait
to rip it off tonight
171
00:07:31,421 --> 00:07:34,225
And finally
have my way with you.
172
00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:46,264
Could i-Could i help at all?
Or are you...
173
00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:49,570
Yeah, you know what? Just, uh,
let me bridge off your shoulder.
174
00:07:49,638 --> 00:07:51,524
I'm gonna have to fire my hips off
- There we go.
175
00:07:51,591 --> 00:07:52,909
Aah!
I'm gettin' under it.
176
00:07:52,978 --> 00:07:53,510
What's goin' on
back there?
177
00:07:53,578 --> 00:07:55,063
You don't have
your pants on yet?
178
00:07:55,131 --> 00:07:58,871
The rabbi and i are
working on it, thank you.
179
00:07:58,939 --> 00:08:00,624
It's been 2 hours.
180
00:08:00,691 --> 00:08:01,509
There's no room
back here.
181
00:08:01,660 --> 00:08:02,828
Why the hell didn't you
take the minivan?
182
00:08:02,896 --> 00:08:04,414
Aw, kelly's got it.
She doesn't like
183
00:08:04,483 --> 00:08:06,050
Driving this car.
It's too small.
184
00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:08,105
Oh, great. So she gives it
to her 8- Foot-Tall husband.
185
00:08:08,173 --> 00:08:10,609
Yeah, i can't believe you
aren't the one getting divorced.
186
00:08:10,677 --> 00:08:12,262
Hey, hey. Stop talkin'
about divorce, will you?
187
00:08:12,330 --> 00:08:13,798
You guys
are gonna be fine.
188
00:08:13,866 --> 00:08:15,368
You always work
these things out.
189
00:08:15,436 --> 00:08:16,470
She screams.
You cry.
190
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,374
2 pizzas later, you're back to normal.
191
00:08:18,442 --> 00:08:20,161
But this is different,
deac, ok?
192
00:08:20,228 --> 00:08:22,565
We had a commitment
about our future, and-
193
00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:24,970
And she just didn't
hold up her end.
194
00:08:25,037 --> 00:08:27,441
That's not right, is it?
195
00:08:27,509 --> 00:08:29,644
Well, i certainly understand
why you're upset,
196
00:08:29,712 --> 00:08:32,750
But i also know that god
believes in forgiveness.
197
00:08:32,818 --> 00:08:33,586
Yeah, i'm-
198
00:08:33,654 --> 00:08:36,976
Is that just your god
or any god?
199
00:08:37,043 --> 00:08:40,315
Do you think you and i
have different gods?
200
00:08:40,382 --> 00:08:42,453
No. No, no, no, no, no.
201
00:08:42,521 --> 00:08:46,259
Oh. I mean, yeah.
Only 'cause...
202
00:08:46,327 --> 00:08:47,862
My god is...
203
00:08:47,930 --> 00:08:49,699
Jesus.
204
00:08:49,767 --> 00:08:51,637
But, uh-But from
what i understand,
205
00:08:51,704 --> 00:08:53,656
My god is the son
of your god,
206
00:08:53,724 --> 00:08:55,727
So i'm sure they're
on very good terms.
207
00:08:55,794 --> 00:08:57,831
They probably see
each other all the time,
208
00:08:57,898 --> 00:08:59,400
You know, holidays,
family functions.
209
00:08:59,468 --> 00:09:01,053
What the hell
was that for?!
210
00:09:01,121 --> 00:09:03,525
To shut you up.
211
00:09:04,728 --> 00:09:06,447
Don't give me
your back talk!
212
00:09:06,515 --> 00:09:10,405
There are plenty of harpists out
there who will play dueling banjos!
213
00:09:10,472 --> 00:09:12,041
You sent for me, darlin'?
214
00:09:12,108 --> 00:09:14,278
Yes. Dad, i, um...
215
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:15,080
Where's ava?
216
00:09:15,148 --> 00:09:16,967
Well, that's actually
what i wanna...
217
00:09:18,304 --> 00:09:19,938
Ava left, dad.
218
00:09:20,006 --> 00:09:21,074
What?
219
00:09:21,142 --> 00:09:22,360
Yeah,
she was very upset.
220
00:09:22,427 --> 00:09:24,831
She's-She's very sorry,
but she can't marry you.
221
00:09:24,899 --> 00:09:26,618
Wh-Why?
222
00:09:26,685 --> 00:09:28,088
Well, uh...
223
00:09:28,155 --> 00:09:30,058
Turns out ava...
224
00:09:30,126 --> 00:09:33,764
Like, uh, many women
in show business,
225
00:09:33,832 --> 00:09:36,186
Wanted a different kind
of husband,
226
00:09:36,253 --> 00:09:39,058
More of a companion.
227
00:09:39,125 --> 00:09:41,879
I was a wonderful companion.
228
00:09:41,947 --> 00:09:44,267
Yeah. Yeah.
229
00:09:44,335 --> 00:09:45,771
Uh...
230
00:09:45,839 --> 00:09:49,478
But she wanted a
companion who was also...
231
00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:50,980
A choreographer...
232
00:09:52,818 --> 00:09:54,503
Type.
233
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:58,445
A hairdresser type.
234
00:09:59,731 --> 00:10:01,900
You don't see where
i'm goin' with this?
235
00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:03,620
She wanted a black man?
236
00:10:03,688 --> 00:10:06,159
Gay, dad.
She wanted a gay man.
237
00:10:06,226 --> 00:10:07,928
She thought
you were gay.
238
00:10:07,996 --> 00:10:08,981
That's preposterous.
239
00:10:09,049 --> 00:10:11,369
That's not what
she wants at all.
240
00:10:11,436 --> 00:10:12,654
Dad, look.
241
00:10:12,722 --> 00:10:15,292
This is a picture of
gerald, her last husband.
242
00:10:15,359 --> 00:10:17,931
What do you see
when you look at that?
243
00:10:17,999 --> 00:10:19,734
I see a normal
heterosexual man
244
00:10:19,802 --> 00:10:21,871
Leaping into the air
with a parasol.
245
00:10:23,041 --> 00:10:25,111
How did i not
notice that before?
246
00:10:26,380 --> 00:10:28,450
I'm sorry, daddy.
247
00:10:28,518 --> 00:10:29,870
But i still
don't understand.
248
00:10:29,937 --> 00:10:34,578
What did i ever do to give her
the impression that i was gay?
249
00:10:39,604 --> 00:10:40,941
Hey.
250
00:10:45,917 --> 00:10:50,141
In retrospect, that was an unfortunate
choice of halloween costume.
251
00:10:56,703 --> 00:10:58,189
Dad, look,
i know this is hard,
252
00:10:58,257 --> 00:11:01,244
But we have a hundred guests out there
waiting for the ceremony to start.
253
00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:03,215
You have to go out there
and tell 'em.
254
00:11:03,282 --> 00:11:05,786
But i had my heart set
on being married today.
255
00:11:05,854 --> 00:11:07,523
Not just my heart.
256
00:11:07,591 --> 00:11:10,328
I took enough cialis
for a hockey team.
257
00:11:11,731 --> 00:11:14,937
The bottom line is, dad,
ava's not coming back.
258
00:11:15,004 --> 00:11:16,874
But i could
be gay for her.
259
00:11:16,941 --> 00:11:21,047
I could be the gayest man
the world has ever seen!
260
00:11:21,116 --> 00:11:22,033
I know you could.
261
00:11:23,737 --> 00:11:25,674
But-But it's over, dad.
262
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,247
Arthur, what's this
all about?
263
00:11:47,314 --> 00:11:48,851
Why are we in here?
264
00:11:48,918 --> 00:11:51,054
I need to speak
to you privately.
265
00:11:52,625 --> 00:11:54,895
What are you, a surgeon?
Beat it!
266
00:11:59,772 --> 00:12:01,991
So what is it?
267
00:12:02,059 --> 00:12:03,411
Veronica, something
marvelous has happened.
268
00:12:03,478 --> 00:12:08,019
I suddenly realized it's not ava
i wanna marry today. It's you.
269
00:12:08,086 --> 00:12:11,109
What?
You wanna marry me?
270
00:12:11,176 --> 00:12:12,962
Yes. I'm proposing to you.
271
00:12:13,030 --> 00:12:15,633
I would have done it
years ago, but...
272
00:12:15,701 --> 00:12:18,305
I found your beauty
intimidating.
273
00:12:18,373 --> 00:12:19,909
She dumped you, huh?
274
00:12:19,977 --> 00:12:22,080
Yeah.
275
00:12:22,148 --> 00:12:23,915
Apparently i'm not
man enough for her.
276
00:12:23,983 --> 00:12:27,539
Or i'm too much man.
It's all very confusing.
277
00:12:27,607 --> 00:12:30,695
So now you're tryin' to jam
me in as your second choice?
278
00:12:30,762 --> 00:12:32,665
Well, let me tell you
something, arthur.
279
00:12:32,733 --> 00:12:36,239
I may not be the queen of
england or even ava st. Clair,
280
00:12:36,307 --> 00:12:39,979
But i deserve more than being
proposed to in front of a urinal.
281
00:12:40,046 --> 00:12:43,302
Look, look, look, i admit i've never
shown you the respect you deserve.
282
00:12:43,370 --> 00:12:45,773
I was petty and vain and
thought i could do better,
283
00:12:45,841 --> 00:12:47,427
But i realize now
that i can't.
284
00:12:49,564 --> 00:12:51,484
Pride goeth
before a fall.
285
00:12:51,552 --> 00:12:53,972
Please, veronica. I don't
wanna die in that basement.
286
00:12:54,039 --> 00:12:57,277
I'd much rather die in a
ground-Floor apartment such as yours
287
00:12:57,345 --> 00:12:59,115
With you by my side.
288
00:12:59,182 --> 00:13:02,271
That does sound nice.
289
00:13:02,338 --> 00:13:04,959
I know we could learn
to love each other.
290
00:13:05,027 --> 00:13:07,798
I already love you,
arthur.
291
00:13:07,866 --> 00:13:09,835
Well, then,
we're halfway there.
292
00:13:16,148 --> 00:13:17,750
Um, good afternoon.
293
00:13:17,817 --> 00:13:21,556
Everybody, ahem,
i'm rabbi eli feldman.
294
00:13:21,624 --> 00:13:24,462
Today in the presence of god,
295
00:13:24,531 --> 00:13:28,503
We will be joining together
arthur spooner and ava st. Clair,
296
00:13:28,571 --> 00:13:32,109
2 wonderful people
who have found joy, love,
297
00:13:32,178 --> 00:13:33,061
And happi-
298
00:13:33,129 --> 00:13:34,481
Excuse me a minute.
299
00:13:34,549 --> 00:13:36,819
Happiness in each other's
spirits. Thank you.
300
00:13:39,658 --> 00:13:41,728
"Please turns off
all cellphones and pagers,
301
00:13:41,796 --> 00:13:45,635
"And in your programs, wherever
the name ava st. Clair appears,
302
00:13:45,703 --> 00:13:47,706
Replace it
with veronica olchin."
303
00:13:54,936 --> 00:13:56,271
Excuse me. Sorry.
304
00:13:56,339 --> 00:13:57,574
Sorry. Excuse me.
305
00:13:57,642 --> 00:13:58,943
Hey.
Where were you?
306
00:13:59,011 --> 00:14:01,648
Doug got drunk and
wouldn't put his pants on.
307
00:14:03,686 --> 00:14:04,954
How's it goin' here?
308
00:14:05,023 --> 00:14:06,224
Oh, arthur
switched brides.
309
00:14:06,291 --> 00:14:07,960
Now he's marrying
spence's mom.
310
00:14:08,029 --> 00:14:09,763
Oh.
311
00:14:09,831 --> 00:14:12,669
Dad! Well, what the hell
is going on?
312
00:14:12,737 --> 00:14:14,004
Meet your
new mother.
313
00:14:15,475 --> 00:14:17,094
Keep wednesdays free,
darling.
314
00:14:17,162 --> 00:14:19,966
That's when we visit nana
in the home.
315
00:14:20,034 --> 00:14:22,287
Where's my aunt ava?
316
00:14:22,354 --> 00:14:23,756
Mom, what are
you doing?
317
00:14:23,824 --> 00:14:25,075
What does it look
like i'm doing?
318
00:14:25,143 --> 00:14:28,014
Now, you just stay there,
because you have to give me away.
319
00:14:28,081 --> 00:14:29,968
I'm not giving you away!
This is crazy!
320
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,270
Yes, this is crazy!
321
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:33,524
Stop taking
your brother's side!
322
00:14:36,799 --> 00:14:38,516
Where's my aunt ava?
323
00:14:38,584 --> 00:14:39,369
Oh, doug,
there you are.
324
00:14:39,437 --> 00:14:40,721
Do you know
what's going on?
325
00:14:40,788 --> 00:14:42,742
Ava left, and now my dad
wants to marry veronica.
326
00:14:42,810 --> 00:14:44,862
Hmm. That's nice.
327
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:50,974
He-He wants us
to start.
328
00:14:51,041 --> 00:14:53,145
Sweetheart, i think
you go down first.
329
00:14:53,212 --> 00:14:55,348
Where's my aunt ava?
330
00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:58,053
She's your aunt ava. Now get movin'!
331
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:01,193
It's all right.
It's all right.
332
00:15:03,231 --> 00:15:06,854
Dad, are you sure
you wanna do this?
333
00:15:06,921 --> 00:15:08,991
You really wanna
marry veronica?
334
00:15:09,059 --> 00:15:11,112
Why? You got
someone better?
335
00:15:12,114 --> 00:15:14,519
Oy. All right,
let's just start.
336
00:15:14,586 --> 00:15:15,452
Let's just start.
337
00:15:20,079 --> 00:15:22,349
Piece of work,
that man, right?
338
00:15:22,416 --> 00:15:26,357
Yeah. Well, at least he doesn't tell
vicious lies to the people that love him.
339
00:15:26,424 --> 00:15:29,428
What are you talking about?
He does that every day.
340
00:15:29,497 --> 00:15:31,366
What's the matter
with you, anyway?
341
00:15:31,433 --> 00:15:33,804
You know what? I don't think i
feel like discussing it right now.
342
00:15:48,866 --> 00:15:50,969
Thanks for comin'.
I'm not gay.
343
00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:52,473
Thanks for comin'.
Not gay.
344
00:15:52,540 --> 00:15:54,342
Hello, zachary.
I'm not gay.
345
00:15:57,031 --> 00:16:00,253
I can't believe
you're doing this.
346
00:16:00,321 --> 00:16:02,090
I love him, spencer.
347
00:16:02,158 --> 00:16:04,228
He's treating you
like an old dishrag.
348
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:06,265
No marriage is perfect.
349
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,146
Ok. Ahem.
350
00:16:14,214 --> 00:16:16,150
Is everyone
set to go?
351
00:16:16,218 --> 00:16:17,302
Uh-Huh.
352
00:16:17,369 --> 00:16:19,239
Baruch atta adonal-
353
00:16:19,307 --> 00:16:21,008
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's that?
354
00:16:24,166 --> 00:16:26,369
It's a hebrew prayer.
355
00:16:26,437 --> 00:16:28,572
Why hebrew?
356
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:32,229
Well, the-The original
bride was jewish,
357
00:16:32,297 --> 00:16:33,565
A- And i'm a rabbi.
358
00:16:35,070 --> 00:16:36,421
Are you jewish?
359
00:16:36,488 --> 00:16:38,091
Albanian orthodox.
360
00:16:38,158 --> 00:16:40,294
What the hell is that?
361
00:16:40,362 --> 00:16:41,965
It's a very nice
religion.
362
00:16:42,033 --> 00:16:43,567
We'll go with your thing.
363
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:48,693
Baruch atta
adonal elohanu...
364
00:16:49,796 --> 00:16:51,064
Mazel tov!
Mazel tov!
365
00:16:58,330 --> 00:17:01,652
Carrie, your phone was going off
like crazy during the ceremony.
366
00:17:01,719 --> 00:17:03,555
You got, like, 4 calls.
Really?
367
00:17:05,677 --> 00:17:08,481
Oh, my god.
It's the adoption agency.
368
00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:10,250
Doug-
369
00:17:15,545 --> 00:17:18,282
There you are.
What are you doing?
370
00:17:18,349 --> 00:17:21,071
Just enjoying the smells
of poughkeepsie.
371
00:17:23,393 --> 00:17:25,663
Well, i have
some very exciting news.
372
00:17:25,731 --> 00:17:27,499
You're not gonna believe it.
373
00:17:27,567 --> 00:17:29,186
Look at this picture.
What's that?
374
00:17:29,254 --> 00:17:30,538
Our car.
375
00:17:30,606 --> 00:17:32,325
Oh. I backed into a pole.
376
00:17:32,393 --> 00:17:33,928
That's for
the insurance company.
377
00:17:33,996 --> 00:17:35,631
No, no, no, no, no, no.
378
00:17:35,699 --> 00:17:36,933
Who's that?
379
00:17:37,001 --> 00:17:39,137
I don't know.
Somebody's baby.
380
00:17:39,206 --> 00:17:41,743
Yeah. Our baby.
381
00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:43,496
Our baby.
382
00:17:45,334 --> 00:17:46,402
Oh, my god.
383
00:17:46,470 --> 00:17:48,071
Yeah. Her name
is ming mel.
384
00:17:48,138 --> 00:17:50,175
She's 4 days old.
Isn't she beautiful?
385
00:17:50,242 --> 00:17:52,529
All right, i have to call
the adoption agency
386
00:17:52,597 --> 00:17:55,686
And tell them that we're on
the next flight out to beijing.
387
00:17:55,754 --> 00:17:57,656
I've-I can't believe
i'm making this call.
388
00:17:57,723 --> 00:18:01,930
I mean, i've ordered chinese before,
but never a baby. Ah ha ha! Ahh!
389
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,466
Carrie, we're not
doing this.
390
00:18:04,636 --> 00:18:07,241
What? What are
you talking about?
391
00:18:07,308 --> 00:18:08,492
I know about
the apartment,
392
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,447
And i know you never
got rid of it.
393
00:18:10,515 --> 00:18:12,299
Oh, yeah, that. Heh.
394
00:18:12,367 --> 00:18:13,970
Weird, huh?
395
00:18:16,843 --> 00:18:18,210
Uh...
396
00:18:18,278 --> 00:18:21,684
Look, doug, you have
every right to be upset, ok?
397
00:18:21,752 --> 00:18:25,592
I- I should've gotten rid of
it a couple weeks ago, but i-
398
00:18:25,660 --> 00:18:27,327
But what? I mean...
399
00:18:27,395 --> 00:18:29,482
But i was just nervous about us
getting back together.
400
00:18:29,550 --> 00:18:31,586
So was i, you know,
but we made a deal.
401
00:18:31,654 --> 00:18:34,659
I mean, i quit my job for
you, and i loved that job.
402
00:18:34,726 --> 00:18:36,811
You hated that job.
You said so a thousand times.
403
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:40,252
No, i said i hated having
a job. There's a difference.
404
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,423
The point is i took
a leap of faith,
405
00:18:42,491 --> 00:18:44,876
For the sake of our
future, and you didn't.
406
00:18:44,945 --> 00:18:47,616
All right. Well, i'm taking
my leap of faith now.
407
00:18:47,683 --> 00:18:49,302
It doesn't count now,
carrie. I mean,
408
00:18:49,370 --> 00:18:51,206
Now you're just leaping
for the baby.
409
00:18:51,274 --> 00:18:53,276
Admit it. You've never
taken a leap of faith
410
00:18:53,428 --> 00:18:55,096
For me
in your whole life.
411
00:18:55,164 --> 00:18:57,184
I married you.
What do you call that?
412
00:18:57,251 --> 00:18:58,402
Uh, hitting the jackpot.
413
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:05,182
Getting married, that's
not taking a leap of faith.
414
00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:10,158
When you get married, you think
it's gonna be great forever.
415
00:19:10,225 --> 00:19:12,262
You know, but then
10 years down the line,
416
00:19:12,330 --> 00:19:17,288
You finally start to realize, "wow,
he's fat, and he's stayin' fat."
417
00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:20,126
"Man, she isn't gettin'
any nicer, is she?"
418
00:19:21,046 --> 00:19:24,235
Smoke clears, and it's
just the two of us
419
00:19:24,302 --> 00:19:28,008
Standing there
fat, mean, and naked-
420
00:19:28,076 --> 00:19:31,882
That's when it takes a
leap of faith to keep going,
421
00:19:31,949 --> 00:19:33,785
And you didn't,
422
00:19:33,853 --> 00:19:35,438
And i can never
forget that.
423
00:19:36,408 --> 00:19:38,761
Ok, doug,
so what are you saying?
424
00:19:38,829 --> 00:19:40,632
Are you saying we're over?
425
00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:42,786
I guess i am.